Go to the Head... (of class)

[Christopher 1,393]

A FEW NEW COURSES FOR WOMEN offered by Dr. Suite

 

1.  Keeping your sense of humor: Men can be a great source of amusement

 

2.  PMS:  Effectively managing those homocidal tendancies around your

man (sub course offered in choosing quality feminine protection)

 

3.  Communication:  The art of reading his mind

 

4.  Pussy/Tits Envy:  He wants yours - now

 

5.  Motivation: 10 Tricks to help him remember to take out the trash

(this method works well with other desired behavior too)

 

6.  Sports, TV, and Beer: How to cope with these obessions of his

     (sub courses offered in Understanding the Male Bonding Enigma)

 

7.  Sex: Managing his primary obession

            101:  Methods of Arousing Him:  Anything can work

            102:  Methods of Avoiding Sex:  Anything can work

            103  The art of faking an orgasm

            104:  Oral Sex:  Swallowing made easy

                         (includes How to fake Swallowing technique)

            105: The appropriate vocublary for sexual communication (I

want you to come now! and other important arousing verbiage)

            106:  The art of acquiring an orgasm (with or without his

assistance)

            107: 7 Effective methods to make certain he doesn't just

roll over and start snoring after that one parting shot

            108:  15 Ways to keep yourself from laughing and pointing

            109:  25 Lines to Ensure him you really climaxed too

            110:  Understanding his choice of condom (its a sheep thing)

 

            111;  Tits and a Clit:  Why he's so obsessed (how to make

them work for you)

 

8.  Effectively feeding the Male Ego and the benefits of doing so

 

9.  Managing Bathroom Calls while enjoying male company (Its One for all

and All For One, Ladies!)

 

10.Coping with his need to experiment/repair any functioning or

non-fuctioning equipment

 

 

 

NEW COURSES FOR MEN

 

  Class size is limited to 10 as course material may prove difficult.

 Agenda

 1.   Combating Stupidity

 

 2.   You Too Can Do Housework

 

 3.   P.M.S.  Learning To Keep Your Mouth Shut

 

 4.   How To Fill An Ice Tray

 

 5.   We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings For Christmas - Give Us $$$$$

 

 6.   Understanding The Female Responses To Your Coming In Drunk at 4am

 

 7.   Wonderful Laundry Techniques - (Formally Called "Don't Wash My

Silks")

 

 8.   Understanding Your Financial Incompetence

 

 9.   You - The Weaker Sex

 

 10.  Reasons To Give Flowers

 

 11.  Why It Is Unacceptable To Relieve Yourself Anywhere But The

Bathroom

 

 12.  How To Stay Awake After Sex

 

 13.  Garbage - Getting It To The Curb

 

 14.  Sex 101 - You Can Fall Asleep Without It, If You Really Try

 

      Sex 102 - The Morning Dilemma - If It's "Awake", Take A Cold

Shower

 

 15.  The Weekend And Sports Are Not Synonymous

 

 16.  How To Put The Toilet Seat Down

 

 17.  How To Go Shopping With Your Mate And Not Get Lost

 

 18.  The Remote Control - Overcome Your Dependency

 

 19.  Helpful Postural Hints For Couch Potatoes

 

 20.  How Not To Get Younger Than Your Children

 

 21.  You Too Can Be A Designated Driver

 

 22.  Honest, You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson - Especially When Naked

 

 23.  Changing Your Underwear - It Really Works

 

 24.  The Attainable Goal - Omitting @#$% From Your Vocabulary

 

 25.  Fluffing The Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary

 

 26.  Real Men Ask For Directions

 

A COPY OF THE ABOVE ENDED UP IN OUR LOCAL SHERIFF'S HANDS SO HE DECIDED

TO HELP UPDATE THESE COURSES....

 

While I certainly can't dispute some of the coursework you've listed in

such a cavalier fashion, you forgot to show some of the classes that males 

take great pride in.  They are:

 

1.  Eating Straight Out of the Can . . . an environmentalist approach

 

2.  Flatulence As An Art Form

 

3.  If It's There, Why Can't I Touch It?  The key to understanding women

 

4.  Duct Tape - 101

 

5.  Duct Tape - Advanced - The Magic Silver Strip

 

6.  It's Mine...I Can Scratch It...Assertiveness training

 

7.  Cooking for Fun and Sex

 

8.  Beer Gargling ... Prerequisite is Chemistry 101

 

9.  How To Make Your Woman Really Hot (blow your nose on her curtains)

 

10. Cussing to Make Your Point (Sub. for Speech 101, Asshole)

 

11. Cooties - How to Check Girls for Them

 

12. How To Order at a Fancy Restaurant

 

13. How To Slip Out Without Paying At A Fancy Restaurant

 

14. How To Have Great Sex

 

15. How To Have Great Sex With A Partner (Advanced Only)

 

Dr.Suite, CEO of the PyBRUs Chapter "Men can be amusing, really" offers

courses for women who want to better understand their men.  Courses are

limited to 50 per class (this curriculum is usually easily assimilated

by the female gender).